Guest post by: Martha Clouse, Organized for Life, www.Organized4L.com
We’ve all heard the jokes about men not asking for directions, reading instruction manuals, or being willing to talk about feelings. Someone out there might not like what I’m about to say, but here it is:
“WOMEN can be so determined to be self-sufficient
that they hurt themselves AND the people they love.”
It really is a matter of pride. Each of us wants to keep the façade in place so we can have the admiration of our peers. Will people really look down on us if we admit to being human, to having faults?
This is what I’m talking about. You may need help because you…
- desperately need the advice of an older woman on child rearing.
- are drowning in bills and can’t see any way out of mounting debt.
- feel depressed, but don’t want anyone to know you don’t have it all together.
- are embarrassed that your home isn’t in order after your illness.
- can’t attract enough clients as a solo biz owner, but are afraid to admit failure by asking the advice of a mentor.
The truth is, there is no problem you are facing that is unique. This is the first hurdle to get over – the belief that you are alone and the only one who is having this problem.
We all are hiding some flaw in our personality, marriage, business, or home of origin. Get over it, look around, and find someone to ask for directions. Then yell, “Help me, please!!”
Whenever someone comes to me seeking help for a problem, I think two things. First, I admire the transparency that person shows in reaching out. Then I am humbled by their asking me for the answer, ‘cause I struggled with the same thing before finding something that worked for me.
No more telling the guys they need to get it right, Sisters, until we have taken our own advice. Read the instructions. Share our true feelings. Ask for directions. You will get to your destination so much quicker and in good company that way!
Good read. Sometimes we women need to ask for help. I know that is hard for me so I enjoyed your article.
Thanks Shawn! I always enjoy reading your blog as well.
I think some people have had negative experiences in asking for help; ie: being ridiculed or been given bad advice. In getting advice on something I’m unfamiliar with I try to get several opinions/guidances and see if the “big picture” of what I’m being told makes sense. And, lol, btw, I have a boyfriend who is really open to asking for directions….
Marry that boy! LOL!
This is fantastic and the TRUTH!! Why do we think we should be able to do it all on our own? In another time and place we shared so much more with the other women in our families and dwelling…we helped raise each other’s children, helped with the household responsibilities and navigated the younger generation through the emotions and changes that motherhood brings. We need to get back to that, I think. Having said that, it still irks me to have to ask for help…